When we spend so much time on online relationships, we miss a lot of what’s really going on in people’s lives… especially when people don’t post everything.
So much of the Takeover went so well, and there are still people I haven’t thanked nearly enough. I’m working on it. But the truth is, the last 2.5 months have been full of big life stuff, and I’ve been absolutely worn out.
For example, there are still photos and videos from PBHF and Revel in Black - two events that I really care about - that haven’t been edited or posted. I just didn’t have the bandwidth to catch up while also preparing for the Takeover. Then, by the day of the Takeover event, I was running on fumes.
Last weekend, someone who hasn’t known me very long said, “I think you’re the most stressed-out person I’ve ever met.” It wasn’t a criticism… just an observation. I don’t remember what I said back, but I knew they weren’t wrong… and I knew I didn’t like that it was true.
Thinking about it later, looking for a solution, my brain started listing all the things and people stressing me out… and then something clicked.
I actually learned this lesson a long time ago, but forgot it until thinking about that comment brought it back.
Most people know my four kids and I were homeless in 2012. I started a cleaning service while living in Spindler Park (in the RV pictured above), and worked our way out of that season, eventually building a successful cleaning company. Whenever I talk to someone who feels stuck in a place they don’t want to be, I almost always go back to that campground story.
I tell them when I first got there, I had a long list of people whose fault it was that we ended up in that situation. But things didn’t start getting better until I stopped pointing at others and started taking responsibility for my own actions, realizing I had agency in my life. I had to make choices that lined up with the future I wanted.
And this week it hit me: my current situation is no different.
I have a hard time accepting compliments from others, because I know there’s a lot I don’t get right. But I also know how much I care and how hard I work. Long story short: I’m a ROCKSTAR… and if I don’t want to be stressed out all the time, it’s my responsibility to change something.
So that’s what I’ve been doing. Some changes are big. Some are small. Some are just about reclaiming a little joy.
Just a fun photo from a themed birthday party I went to this week. :-)
For example, I’ve hated the color of our kitchen since our first walkthrough in 2019. So this week, I changed it.
I also tried (for the first time ever) to send someone else out to cover shows for me all weekend. And when they got sick and couldn’t go, I could feel my blood pressure spiking.
But then I remembered… being stressed out is a choice I’m not choosing anymore.
It’s better for everyone if I just pivot.
So we pivoted.
And we’ll try again next weekend.
Choosing not to live in stress doesn’t magically fix the life stuff that’s happening, but it does remind me of what I can control, and it helps me keep my focus on the goal.
If you’re growing through something right now, don’t forget that it’s not supposed to look perfect. Growth is lifelong and rarely a straight path.
Thank you for your patience while I keep catching up, making changes, and figuring out what needs to stay and what needs to shift. I’m working on it. I appreciate every single person who gives me grace in the process.
Most importantly, I want to make it clear neither Peoria Music Live nor Harmonize Peoria are at risk of going away.
I’m taking steps to keep myself from burnout and will continue to build them to what I know it can be.